25 ways to tell if you have finally grown up

I may be getting old but I am still cool! I listen to KCLD

Here are some of my random thoughts on these, see if you can keep up with my randomness :) Jason's random thoughts are in RED!

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Hmmm that's not me, we have no plants and NEVER smoked anything....
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. There should always be a ratio of Beer to food just don't know what it is.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. I have always gone to bed early, maybe I am just a geek... I hate staying up late.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. Ahhh I live in a small town no elevators
6. You watch the Weather Channel. I LOVE the weather, you have to watch it living in MN you need to know what winter coat to wear! 
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up". Hey I am cool, I still use those words, maybe not in the right context but they are in my vocabulary. 
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. True that!
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." But when you gain weight and that is all you have, it works for me.
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn down the stereo. Damn kids!
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. I am ok with it but my wife is a little mortified by relatives telling sex jokes.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Never knew in the first place, but their border fries RULE.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. It is the economy right?
14. You feed your dog/cat Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. Hmmm McDonald's I could really go for a quarter pounder and cheese right now...
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. I love sleeping on the couch, our bed sucks!
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM. Sleep is good for the body!
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. It is the economy right?
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. That sounds like a great breakfast! 
19. If you're a girl, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." What is with this wine stuff, who drinks wine now days?
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to..." replaces "I'm never
going to drink that much again." I made one mistake at a company Christmas party and NO one will ever let me forget it, sorry guys the company does not have parties anymore.
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. If you call "peaing" work sure!
24. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate her instead of asking "Oh S*$#! What Happened!?!?!?! LOL
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

See I am not grown up yet, I am still COOL!